Reina near her workplace in Potts Point, where she currently spends most of her time.
Dorcas: What has been your experience as an Asian woman dating? And how that relates to...
Reina: It’s been ok, but I think there are some things that I find I get a little bit hung up about. I guess, yeah. I’ve had certain instances where... I remember I was seeing someone during uni and we went to this bar. He was outside with his friends chatting and I went in to get the drinks and there was a guy bartending and we just had a chat. I think he thought that I was flirting with him but I just wanted to talk, you know? Then he was like, ‘Oh are you out for a good time,’ or whatever and I was like, ‘Yeah, just hanging out,’ sort of thing and he’s like ‘Yeah you are, you Asian slut.’ I was just like, ‘Okay wow.’ I was alone at the bar and I just laughed it off, and I was just like, ‘Okay I’m just gonna go outside now.’ I chatted to my partner, and he was just like, ‘Oh what?’ It was just this whole thing [that made me feel] like maybe I was overreacting or he didn’t understand. Then there’s been these instances where I really need that support from my partner at the time and it doesn’t happen. I started seeing someone recently — it’s been a while ago now — but we went over to his mate’s place, and his friend’s dog really didn’t like me and just ran away. Then the mate was just like, ‘Oh, maybe the dog’s racist.’ And I was like, ‘Oh, the dog’s racist?’ You know what I mean? And then the guy I was seeing just kind of laughed it off and laughed with it just to make it not awkward. There [were] a few situations with him — this was in Queensland — and I was just like, ‘Aw man, why is it that I feel sorry for being in this body?’ You know what I mean? And the people that I’m seeing are not empowering me, or maybe just staying silent. It’s not that they’re taking the other person’s side or whatever, but yeah. I dunno.
Reina is a dancer.
D: That sounds like...like I have a reaction to these stories like, ‘Aw, that makes me really angry.’
R: Yeah.
D: In addition to that, the person you’re with — who you trust — is not, either validating [something] as a bad experience and a racist incident, and is either laughing it off or just not understanding.
R: Yeah, and maybe that is from... Most of the people I have seen are Anglo-Australian, so I feel like maybe that’s something that does subconsciously come into that experience. Maybe as much as they want to support [me], it’s just, it’s not part of their experience. So maybe it’s just not going to happen?
Reina near her workplace in Potts Point, where she currently spends most of her time.
Reina is a dancer.