Annie at Petersham Park.
They find that they think more clearly and can be more articulate in open spaces.
Dorcas: When do you feel most desirable?
Annie: That's definitely changed over the years. I feel the most desirable when things are intimate but goofy now. When you can definitely just have a bit of a joke but not lose the mood. That's when I'm the most at peace —in those kinds of intimate moments.
![Annie, an East Asian person, stands in a neutral position. Golden hour sunlight illuminates their face.]()
D: Can you describe a moment like that? Or the last time you felt this way?
A: [It’s] just something a little bit hush hush, but not really. Like when you blow off a meeting and have sex. That’s kind of sweet, you know? And it's just something where it can start off as a joke, and then you both gauge whether or not the other person is serious. And then if they are, just go off and have a little quickie and it's nice. Have a little joke about it afterwards. It's those kinds of moments where in my head, I'm like, yes, this is what I want. I've finally arrived at a place where I can joke and goof off and still share these moments of extreme intimacy — whether we go off and make out for a little bit. And then, I don't know, laugh at a fart. To me, that's perfect. It’s definitely not something that I would have considered to be the answer to your question, even two years ago. But with the rest of the context of the relationship that I'm in now, those are moments that I've never had before in other relationships. Sex was always a very, very serious thing. And it was always like, I have to look at you a certain way, to feel a certain way. And it's not like that right now. So that's very special to me.
D: Like being able to feel comfortable and at ease.
A: But also just goofy. This is fun, what we're doing is fun. We shouldn't be treating it with too much reverence. Because if you do, I find that when that moment is broken, it's hard to get back. If you're just goofing off a bit, it's very different. Because the moment can break but it's so easy to get back and still feel comfortable.
D: So it’s not this hard boundary of, like, this is sex and this is other things. It’s more porous, you're able to go in and out and fluctuate –
A: Yeah, everything is more fluid that way.
Annie: That's definitely changed over the years. I feel the most desirable when things are intimate but goofy now. When you can definitely just have a bit of a joke but not lose the mood. That's when I'm the most at peace —in those kinds of intimate moments.
Annie at Petersham Park.
D: Can you describe a moment like that? Or the last time you felt this way?
A: [It’s] just something a little bit hush hush, but not really. Like when you blow off a meeting and have sex. That’s kind of sweet, you know? And it's just something where it can start off as a joke, and then you both gauge whether or not the other person is serious. And then if they are, just go off and have a little quickie and it's nice. Have a little joke about it afterwards. It's those kinds of moments where in my head, I'm like, yes, this is what I want. I've finally arrived at a place where I can joke and goof off and still share these moments of extreme intimacy — whether we go off and make out for a little bit. And then, I don't know, laugh at a fart. To me, that's perfect. It’s definitely not something that I would have considered to be the answer to your question, even two years ago. But with the rest of the context of the relationship that I'm in now, those are moments that I've never had before in other relationships. Sex was always a very, very serious thing. And it was always like, I have to look at you a certain way, to feel a certain way. And it's not like that right now. So that's very special to me.
D: Like being able to feel comfortable and at ease.
A: But also just goofy. This is fun, what we're doing is fun. We shouldn't be treating it with too much reverence. Because if you do, I find that when that moment is broken, it's hard to get back. If you're just goofing off a bit, it's very different. Because the moment can break but it's so easy to get back and still feel comfortable.
D: So it’s not this hard boundary of, like, this is sex and this is other things. It’s more porous, you're able to go in and out and fluctuate –
A: Yeah, everything is more fluid that way.
They find that they think more clearly and can be more articulate in open spaces.