Joy 

43, She/her

Dorcas: Do you remember your first orgasm? [Laughs].

Joy: Oh yeah, hmm, my first orgasm. Firstly let me preface this by saying I think I was quite a late bloomer when it comes to masturbating. The only reason I started masturbating was because my sister, who is two years younger than me, came to me. And she was like, I think she was seven or eight or something, and she came to me one day and she was like, ‘Joy this thing happened when I was in the shower.’ She was explaining to me and it was just the cutest thing. And I looked at her, very matter-of-factly, I said, ‘You just masturbated and that was an orgasm.’ And she was just like, ‘Oh really?’ and I was like, ‘Yeah.’ I think I would’ve been, like, ten. But in my mind I was so worldly. Because I had the answer to my sister’s...well it wasn’t even a question, she was just making a statement. But then in the back of my mind, I was like, ‘I can’t believe she just masturbated and had an orgasm and I haven’t even done that yet,’ ‘Cause it just hadn’t occurred to me to do that yet. I was like, ‘I need to get on top of this, I’m kind of falling behind.’ So then I, very studiously over the next few nights, was like, ‘Let’s get this going! Let’s see how this works.’ I don’t remember exactly when, but it would’ve been during that first week of me trying to catch up in my development. I would’ve been masturbating and then that probably would’ve been my first orgasm then.

D: I just imagine two little girls [laughs] having this conversation.

J: I know, and it was so innocent, my sister was like, ‘Aw you know,’ because my sister and I, we used to always shower together and so when we were kids we’d go shower together and we would keep each other company. One person would shower while the other person — we had a glass shower cubicle — would run on the other side of the glass and do the blowfish and make the other one laugh inside. Or the other one would squirt water at the other one’s face, but then on the other side of the glass. Just little things that kids do, it was just fun. That’s what we did. I remember it would’ve been around this time when — and my sister still tells this story — how I broke her heart. She said normally, [at] shower time, ‘Joy come with me!’ Or, I’m having a shower and she’ll grab her towel [and say], ‘Okay! I’m coming!’ And we’ll wash each other’s hair or whatever. This one day I was going to have a shower and she grabbed her towel and she wanted to come in with me and I said to her, ‘Trina, I don’t think we should shower together anymore because I think I’m growing up.’ And she was just like, ‘What do you mean?’ She said she was heartbroken, she felt so rejected and she couldn’t understand why I was stopping our ritual that we used to do together. So I feel like this was around about that time, because I think she felt maybe I was growing up or whatever. Obviously [she] told me because there was no-one else she could tell, and she was like, ‘I was in the shower, and I did this thing and then I couldn’t stop,’ and blah blah blah. I just love that I was able to say, very matter-of-factly, ‘You just masturbated, and you had an orgasm.’


Joy

43, She/her

Joy at home in Redfern. She owns the Bearded Tit, a bar and queer institution in Sydney.


Dorcas: Do you remember your first orgasm? [Laughs].

Joy: Oh yeah, hmm, my first orgasm. Firstly let me preface this by saying I think I was quite a late bloomer when it comes to masturbating. The only reason I started masturbating was because my sister, who is two years younger than me, came to me. And she was like, I think she was seven or eight or something, and she came to me one day and she was like, ‘Joy this thing happened when I was in the shower.’ She was explaining to me and it was just the cutest thing. And I looked at her, very matter-of-factly, I said, ‘You just masturbated and that was an orgasm.’ And she was just like, ‘Oh really?’ and I was like, ‘Yeah.’ I think I would’ve been, like, ten. But in my mind I was so worldly. Because I had the answer to my sister’s...well it wasn’t even a question, she was just making a statement. But then in the back of my mind, I was like, ‘I can’t believe she just masturbated and had an orgasm and I haven’t even done that yet,’ ‘Cause it just hadn’t occurred to me to do that yet. I was like, ‘I need to get on top of this, I’m kind of falling behind.’ So then I, very studiously over the next few nights, was like, ‘Let’s get this going! Let’s see how this works.’ I don’t remember exactly when, but it would’ve been during that first week of me trying to catch up in my development. I would’ve been masturbating and then that probably would’ve been my first orgasm then.

D: I just imagine two little girls [laughs] having this conversation.

J: I know, and it was so innocent, my sister was like, ‘Aw you know,’ because my sister and I, we used to always shower together and so when we were kids we’d go shower together and we would keep each other company. One person would shower while the other person — we had a glass shower cubicle — would run on the other side of the glass and do the blowfish and make the other one laugh inside. Or the other one would squirt water at the other one’s face, but then on the other side of the glass. Just little things that kids do, it was just fun. That’s what we did. I remember it would’ve been around this time when — and my sister still tells this story — how I broke her heart. She said normally, [at] shower time, ‘Joy come with me!’ Or, I’m having a shower and she’ll grab her towel [and say], ‘Okay! I’m coming!’ And we’ll wash each other’s hair or whatever. This one day I was going to have a shower and she grabbed her towel and she wanted to come in with me and I said to her, ‘Trina, I don’t think we should shower together anymore because I think I’m growing up.’ And she was just like, ‘What do you mean?’ She said she was heartbroken, she felt so rejected and she couldn’t understand why I was stopping our ritual that we used to do together. So I feel like this was around about that time, because I think she felt maybe I was growing up or whatever. Obviously [she] told me because there was no-one else she could tell, and she was like, ‘I was in the shower, and I did this thing and then I couldn’t stop,’ and blah blah blah. I just love that I was able to say, very matter-of-factly, ‘You just masturbated, and you had an orgasm.’


Her iconic tattoo is a reference to one of her favorite foods. When getting it, she also considered ‘pash rash’.


Joy at home in Redfern. She owns the Bearded Tit, a bar and queer institution in Sydney.












Her iconic tattoo is a reference to one of her favorite foods.When getting it, she also considered ‘pash rash’.