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Kar Mun

31, She/her

Kar Mun in her beautiful house in Hamilton.















Formerly a dentist, Kar Mun now works in the arts.

Kar Mun

31, She/her
Kar Mun in her beautiful house in Hamilton.

Kar Mun: … Like, people who only date Asian girls or something and then I've been one of the girls and it’s never really… I think I've had friends who, it's bothered them a lot. And I don't think it's bothered me to that level. Where they're like, ‘Oh, you know, do you feel exoticised?’ And stuff like that. But I feel like for me, when I was single, I was confident in that exoticisation of me. I was like, ‘Yeah, great. I'm an object of desire. That's awesome.’ I [felt] really good about that. But I guess that's sort of an insecurity thing, I guess. When you feel desired, you feel like you're good enough, you know? So yeah, for me, I think that was very much a coping mechanism for my insecurities.

Dorcas: And when do you feel most desirable now?

K: It's definitely changed. I don't know, when Jim (Kar Mun’s husband) cooks for me, you know, it's very simple. When he looks at me in a certain way and he tells me he loves me. Or kissing me on the head, just things like that. It’s not so sexually directed. It doesn't have to be — it can be just little gestures of affection or love.  For me, that's how I feel desired now.




Formerly a dentist, Kar Mun now works in the arts.
Kar Mun: … Like, people who only date Asian girls or something and then I've been one of the girls and it’s never really… I think I've had friends who, it's bothered them a lot. And I don't think it's bothered me to that level. Where they're like, ‘Oh, you know, do you feel exoticised?’ And stuff like that. But I feel like for me, when I was single, I was confident in that exoticisation of me. I was like, ‘Yeah, great. I'm an object of desire. That's awesome.’ I [felt] really good about that. But I guess that's sort of an insecurity thing, I guess. When you feel desired, you feel like you're good enough, you know? So yeah, for me, I think that was very much a coping mechanism for my insecurities.

Dorcas: And when do you feel most desirable now?

K: It's definitely changed. I don't know, when Jim (Kar Mun’s husband) cooks for me, you know, it's very simple. When he looks at me in a certain way and he tells me he loves me. Or kissing me on the head, just things like that. It’s not so sexually directed. It doesn't have to be — it can be just little gestures of affection or love.  For me, that's how I feel desired now.