Natesha: From what I've thought about in terms of myself, I think it's a classic, like, I have — like many people — a cavalcade of mental health issues that have stemmed from various experiences in my childhood. I think it's a fear. And I'm very aware of and kind to myself. I think what's terrifying is that I understand most people don't function the way I do, or need the space or time, or have the specific needs that I do. And I think it's terrifying. I think the fear is that someone will see that and go, ‘That is too much. That is abhorrent and I cannot deal with that.’ And so ironically, I think my brain is like, ‘So we'll fight them first!’ [laughs] Which makes no sense, right? It makes no logical sense. But it's purely, I think, a fight or flight thing. That’s what I've identified and so trying to challenge that mindset is difficult, but I think is absolutely worth challenging. I definitely went through a phase where I was like, I will just be happily [single]. And not [in the way] where, I know people who are like, ‘I want to be single forever.’ But I was like, no, I think there was a time — it was definitely a very recent time — where I was like, I think for the safety of myself and others, like maybe it's best that I don't get into romantically intimate relationships, because I can be very emotionally disruptive. I have been in the past, and I don't think that's a responsible thing to do. Which was a sad thing to realize, and to sit with, but I was like, maybe that's how it has to be. But I'm trying to be more optimistic. Trying to have more faith in myself. I'm not cynical of people. But it is scary, I think, like anything. It's a mortifying ordeal to really show yourself to someone. I mean, that's never gotten less mortifying for me, because I think I'm pretty good at seeming quite high functioning and fine, and for the most part I am. But it's truly mortifying to know what people might think on a worse day. Even though I feel like I love my friends and the people I love on their best and worst days. But it's a hard thing, I think, when it comes down to yourself.

Dorcas: It's hard to imagine. Yeah, it's so easy to do for other people. And of course, of course, I will accept you at your worst. But then when it comes, like, I feel like I can’t accept myself at my worst. So for me to imagine that somebody else might do [for me] that I'm like, no!

N: That seems crazy, right? Yeah. But why? Why? It seems crazy.