Non at their apartment in Chatswood.
Making dumplings carries cultural significance and is a way she feels connected to her Chinese heritage.
Non at their apartment in Chatswood.
D: ...In terms of — you're now getting
married. Has there been any shift in that like, how [your mum] talks about this
— relationships
or marriage or?
Non: I think my mum's probably a little more chill now. I feel like every Chinese kid is born with a checklist of things you have to complete in your life. Or like every parent maybe has a checklist of things they need to help their child complete in their life. My grandma talks about it like that, she’ll say, "Oh my job's done. You’re getting married." So it’s not just about like — I actually don't really know what it is. Is it so that I'm going to have someone to look after me after they die? Is it just because that's just what they expect people to do? And so it's like, okay, you're like a normal functioning person, part of society. I don't really understand what it is that compels them to think that way. But yeah, that's how they sort of view it. And so the final checklist item to complete would be to have a child, the next generation. Now that I think about it, I don't really know why it's like seen that way, but that is how it's spoken about. And so I think my relationship with my mum is like I don't know. It's very strange, because I'm not out to my mum as a queer person. And it's something that I still grapple with — do I ever come out to her? Because I know that most of what's going to happen is drama. And a lot of unwanted conversations and things. And it's like, as someone who is now engaged to a man, a white man, like a cis white man, like the most safe, potentially safe option out there. It's like, do I just hold my own peace, you know? So [laughs] that is something that has been on my mind also. It's certainly not something I would do before the wedding. I think it's something that I have to have a lot of time. And time to work up to it. And then also time to chill after. I think it would be a very big conversation. I mean, it's not just my mum, it's my entire family that would find that… I'm almost certain that if I told my parents, my mum would say, don't tell your grandparents because you might give your grandma a heart attack. So it's just like, well, do I just not tell anyone? Ever? [Laughs]
![Non’s hands expertly fold a Chinese dumpling. A bowl of water sits below their hands and in front of that is a tray of four folded dumplings.]()
Non: I think my mum's probably a little more chill now. I feel like every Chinese kid is born with a checklist of things you have to complete in your life. Or like every parent maybe has a checklist of things they need to help their child complete in their life. My grandma talks about it like that, she’ll say, "Oh my job's done. You’re getting married." So it’s not just about like — I actually don't really know what it is. Is it so that I'm going to have someone to look after me after they die? Is it just because that's just what they expect people to do? And so it's like, okay, you're like a normal functioning person, part of society. I don't really understand what it is that compels them to think that way. But yeah, that's how they sort of view it. And so the final checklist item to complete would be to have a child, the next generation. Now that I think about it, I don't really know why it's like seen that way, but that is how it's spoken about. And so I think my relationship with my mum is like I don't know. It's very strange, because I'm not out to my mum as a queer person. And it's something that I still grapple with — do I ever come out to her? Because I know that most of what's going to happen is drama. And a lot of unwanted conversations and things. And it's like, as someone who is now engaged to a man, a white man, like a cis white man, like the most safe, potentially safe option out there. It's like, do I just hold my own peace, you know? So [laughs] that is something that has been on my mind also. It's certainly not something I would do before the wedding. I think it's something that I have to have a lot of time. And time to work up to it. And then also time to chill after. I think it would be a very big conversation. I mean, it's not just my mum, it's my entire family that would find that… I'm almost certain that if I told my parents, my mum would say, don't tell your grandparents because you might give your grandma a heart attack. So it's just like, well, do I just not tell anyone? Ever? [Laughs]
Making dumplings carries cultural significance and is a way she feels connected to her Chinese heritage.